welcome to my world...

burn quickly fade quickly

so someone is feeling pressured and rushed now that he has had a chance to think with his other head and well Ms Easy you are on your way out...tis a shame really I no longer care and you seem like a fairly nice girl other than being well you know!! ah hard lessons to be learned

Wow how time flies, regardless of what kinda time your having. Been a crazy past 6 months. Feeling a little nostalgic having been at Dressage at Lexington for the past 3 days. Was hoping to see some familar faces from MM but none so far. Turnout this year is down WAY DOWN and that is scary, the economy is scary, but on to happier things. I am still going strong on my leased Prix St George horse, not showing yet but that will come maybe this fall or sooner if I win the lottery. Had a training horse come and go down at the barn the leased horse is at and have another one coming in end of this month to my house which is pretty cool and about all I want at the moment. SS work is keeping me running but can't complain I will take it when its here money is good!! Have been looking at property but I am so scared to jump into that just yet in time yes now I just want to work on me without having to work a whole farm full of horses. Its kinda cool they way it is now and I am afraid that I will just stop my own goals if I take on a farm of my own now. I am lazy so I dont really see working SS, heading to Lexington everyday to ride, and keeping up a barnful of my own. Back to DAL OMG dressage queen drama central so I was grooming for the local clubs prez emphasize WAS  she had a major meltdown packed her shit and went home early, I am not complaining though she was high maintance, it is stinking hot and I still got paid for the whole weekend so all and all not bad. Seen some fabulous rides, some nice horses, and some not so great rides as well as running into several aquantances I haven't seen in awhile so all and all a productive weekend. Got to meet the lady who rode the horse I am leasing and learned all about him my god you would never know it t ano see him and I would have never believed it just to hear but I have seen it in black and white articles and photos (in his scrapbook she had) he is a way cooler cat than I the cool cat I knew he was to start with. He was purchased at the Verhand auction by a wealthy american lawyer bringing the third highest price that year as a 3 year old prospect with the intents of making the US olympic team back in the day, he did that stint until he topped out at Prix St George and was sold to the farm I am at now as a schoolmaster and viola here we are. So thank goodness for me he didn't go all the way to Grand Prix. I felt way lucky before and am still pinching myself now. It was very awesome to hear and see clips from his past I learned a ton today on how lots of things work right down to importing a horse LOL hey may come in handy one day I hope!! The riding is going well and he is schooling me well that is for sure he is fairly sane and safe, but far from easy or kind in giving up things unless it is A perfect on the spot and timed correctely, he is perfectly content to do his statue move, tempi around the ring or piroutte, ocasionally run away or various other tricks if I so much as blink an eye wrong or not blink it enough well you get the point! Its paying off tons though as every other horse I get on is easy and that is a good thing otherwise I would swear off horses for good!! Going to see Ellen next week. Her and Mike just had their first child and she is doing the family thing and giving lessons as well as riding her schoolmaster. I am hoping to talk her into heading up to IL to take a lesson from George mainly because I want to flirt with him again but also because it would be a good thing to have a third opinion on the progress. Would go back out to Jayne's but umm yeah not so much gas it way to expensive and well we kinda fell out a bit over the whole move to WI thing hey not my fault f--n insurance is like $600 a month and you require it but don't quite pay well enough to afford it and any other thing you may need to survive aka food not to mention its really really cold there which doesn't seem like a bad thing right this second. So that's been about it.

Not a relevant title but a true saying!!

I have never thought of myself as grossly obese or really even fat until this past week sure ok maybe a little overweight or bigboned maybe even well muscled (it does weigh more than fat you know) SO what brings on this realization in the past week OMG breech shopping I hate it. This past summer I read in a horse illustrated or practical horseman (one of the two I don't care for either personally) that was lying around at Ellen's an article on overweight people and riding and some general comments from readers on their opinions seems the general consensus was that if you are over 150lbs or a sz 12 or something ridiculous that they shouldn't even make breeches that big and you shouldn't ride something along the lines of the poor horse (obvisouly they haven't seen a hugeass warmblood) I didn't have a great opinion on the matter besides the one stated above until now and my opinion would be your not going to keep people from riding by not making clothes to fit its only going to be uglier as we sqeueeze into these things, a larger person on an appropriate sized horse is no different than a small person on a small horse and finally if you have that much time to think and judge the people who are out riding than you are probaly not out actively riding thus making the one who is out learning and doing the exercises to make themselves properly balanced is taking less a toll on the horse than a smaller person flopping up there on ocassion. Yes I do feel fat now thanks in part to the breeches I have been trying on and the fact I can't find any that fits properly I am a normally a size 34 the largest most companies make and then you deal with the thigh issue apparently they don't realize if you have a big ass the rest is big to the best fits thus far are the riding sport full seat high waist of which I have been wearing for the past year and the pikeur mondega of which I just bought due to seat issues with the riding sports ( sandpaper vs velvet here) but even the pikeurs could use some tweaking and their highwaist model no go fits in the thighs but very gapping in the waist anyhow this little excursion has put a damper on my bodyimage so somehow I feel I must start exercising and eating healthier but in the same breath it won't happen so why even make those declerations only to fail thus starting the self defeating image all over again I'll get over it until the next time I need a pair of breeches.

Not a relevant title but a true saying!!

I have never thought of myself as grossly obese or really even fat until this past week sure ok maybe a little overweight or bigboned maybe even well muscled (it does weigh more than fat you know) SO what brings on this realization in the past week OMG breech shopping I hate it. This past summer I read in a horse illustrated or practical horseman (one of the two I don't care for either personally) that was lying around at Ellen's an article on overweight people and riding and some general comments from readers on their opinions seems the general consensus was that if you are over 150lbs or a sz 12 or something ridiculous that they shouldn't even make breeches that big and you shouldn't ride something along the lines of the poor horse (obvisouly they haven't seen a hugeass warmblood) I didn't have a great opinion on the matter besides the one stated above until now and my opinion would be your not going to keep people from riding by not making clothes to fit its only going to be uglier as we sqeueeze into these things, a larger person on an appropriate sized horse is no different than a small person on a small horse and finally if you have that much time to think and judge the people who are out riding than you are probaly not out actively riding thus making the one who is out learning and doing the exercises to make themselves properly balanced is taking less a toll on the horse than a smaller person flopping up there on ocassion. Yes I do feel fat now thanks in part to the breeches I have been trying on and the fact I can't find any that fits properly I am a normally a size 34 the largest most companies make and then you deal with the thigh issue apparently they don't realize if you have a big ass the rest is big to the best fits thus far are the riding sport full seat high waist of which I have been wearing for the past year and the pikeur mondega of which I just bought due to seat issues with the riding sports ( sandpaper vs velvet here) but even the pikeurs could use some tweaking and their highwaist model no go fits in the thighs but very gapping in the waist anyhow this little excursion has put a damper on my bodyimage so somehow I feel I must start exercising and eating healthier but in the same breath it won't happen so why even make those declerations only to fail thus starting the self defeating image all over again I'll get over it until the next time I need a pair of breeches.

What are you most grateful for in your life right now?
Submitted by Becca-Pink.

Which breed of dog is your favorite? Post a picture of it. 
Submitted by Melissa.

Dobie of course followed by Siberian Husky, Blue Heeler and generally anything fluffly with nice pointy ears.

Kikieyes

2 comments

So my horoscope sometime ago said that I would have the time of my life this summer, work through old issues and by fall the perfect partner would be in my life. Ok yeah right I think I am never going to meet the perfect man by fall and I was right I assumed the horoscope by saying partner meant boyfriend boy was I ever wrong the stars work in funny ways they had me thinking one thing and WHAM smack me with something more cool and perfect than I could ever imagine. Turns out my perfect partner is 17.2 HH imported from Germany is black w/ chrome a prix st george schoolmaster and the best part he is free for me to love and learn on and happens to come with a way cool fei trainer who rode under Kay Meredith and Michele Gibson. I only foot the shoeing bill and will have to work out a monthly lesson deal with her once he is back in shape to give me lessons on. I am super excited and have been going and riding him to get him back into shape and have already learned tons just from being around. He is just what I have been looking for a super cool schoolmaster in a situation that I can afford so that I can continue my education!!  Maybe I will have tophats and tails by 35 after all fingers crossed :)

So the mess in IA is over and I am home mixed feelings on the whole deal my head says I am better off and to let it go you handled it well my heart says you could have handled it differently and maybe there is a fleeting chance? Think I better listen to my head this time as my heart isn't to rationale. So here is the story in a nutshell.. Girl meets Boy hangs out both get crushes on each other Boy leaves girlfriend aka babymomma while Girl is home in July Girl gets back Boy has moved in house I rent weird but ok play couple for a week Boy decides to move out goes back to ex seen that coming that lasts a week Boy moves back into house is done with ex for good Girl and Boy have talk to soon to get involved decide to be just friends ok Girl follows rules Boy decides to be a total flirt and doesn't follow rules Girl doesn't get involved just yet stays friends Boy weirds out doesn't return a call and dissapears for a week ok whatever Boy shows up drunk 3 am Sat before I leave singing and pouring out his heart (not his love for me) but all his problems point in life and saying he is a loser yada yada to this I am dumbfounded I don't say a word just listen (though I really wanted to agree at this point LOL) next day we go golfing Boy hugs me and leaves for a cookout doesn't come out on his day off and then time for me to leave I don't call he doesn't call I just go -- so here I am talked with roomies and word is he is moving out end of the month and moving in to a house with a bunch of trouble and heathens and that they aren't speaking to him and he prolly will be on the downward spiral hanging with this crowd. I am tempted to call but dare not even though we are supposedly friends not sure I want to be his friend now that I really don't have to be meaning I don't share a house with him. I would have like to taken it further but shouldn't pursue that as that is his duty not mine and anyway do I really think I need to settle in IA with a guy who thinks he is a loser, drinks way to much, has a baby and baby momma drama, and isn't very reliable in his track record with me? No didn't think so things work out for a reason and whatever I was thinking when I got the crush on him who knows but thank goodness someone knows whats best for me and I am finally starting to trust that and listen not fight it so much quit wasting my efforts my time and my sanity and just accept things for what the are and will be. Maybe this is the test of the summers efforts as he was good for me in the fact it mimiced my first real boyfriend and all our issues and the issues that have haunted me until this day this summer was kinda like a redo of a situation where only the names and faces have changed. I think I handled it better this time I know I am handling it better this time finally maybe I can be free of some of these issues I have that have either prevented or ruined my previous relationships at least I feel lighter. I still have some issues to work through but I would say the major ones are almost pretty much done and to that I say thanks to loser boy I truly belive people come into our lives to help us along and then go when their mission is completed so I guess loser boy and I helped each other out him helping me relive and react my past and me giving him the incitive to get out of a miserable relationship with baby momma where our paths go from now and if they ever cross again only time will tell..............

I am leaving IA thurs morning and will be headed home to work for Sept and Oct then back to IA (not quite sure how I feel about this at the moment when I made the plans I was sure now not so sure) but anyway. My summer has been good not quite what I expected or planned but I guess I needed to learn that sometimes you just can't plan your whole life down to the minute details. Am going for a lesson with Jayne in WI tomorrow and am hoping to have time to talk about a position there it would only be temporary (3 months this winter / early spring) but I would learn a ton and then be right back where I am at now on my way home. Really having the struggle with that now I like being away and at the same time I don't though I am not sure IA is where I want to settle nor do I know that VA is where I want to be now either! One thing I do know is that I will never ever never work with horses to make a living I get burnt out way to easy its hard work long days and the pay sucks unless I would have my own place but then the hours are longer and I would be so tied down. My only goal now for a horse is to ride grand prix its more of a personal goal than anything so kinda silly I went to school to be a trainer and this is what we are left with but I guess you just don't know these things until you try it. The boy out here well that is a mess not even sure what the deal is with him he is nice enough but in the same sentence just isn't trying hard enough to make me fall in love and I get the feeling he would rather not bother with me so I am going to leave it go. He was all about me until he found out I liked him now he is playing games and I don't play mind games well so I am losing this one. I would rather tell you what I think than to play a game and right now I am ready to tell him to have a nice f-ing life and that its his loss not mine really but he is mikes best friend and I have to somewhat keep the peace I guess so I am not saying anything just yet.

So its been good to be home but time to go again, my family is driving me nuts already. Boo is getting better everyday now from her little fence incident and is so rotten it is a nightmare oh well shes mom's horse now and lets me know that everyday least shes loved and taken care of (a little to much) Kiko is totally glad to be back she will be staying with mom this go as I would like to have some clothes and shoes left that aren't chewed up and my sanity (me a big dog and a small upstairs in the city not working out) I will miss her but she will be happier here where she can run and play all day. The old cat looks great and still sassy as ever. Work went ok this week could have been better could have been worse. Had a date planned but he very politely backed out, don't think he realized we had hearings togather this week so that was kinda akward but anyhow you will have that. Am all packed just have to load up and say goodbye and I am off until the end of Aug when I will return and from there who knows. Have a great rest of the summer everyone TTYS